The Muslim Home – 40 Recommendations by Sheikh Munajjid
This is an obligation which the head of the household must undertake, in obedience to the command of Allah: “O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.” [al-Tahreem 66:6]. This ayah is the basic principle regarding the teaching and upbringing of one’s family, and enjoining them to do what is good and forbidding them to do what is evil. There follow some of the comments of the mufassireen on this ayah, in so far as it pertains to the duties of the head of the household.
- Qutaadah said: “He should command them to obey Allah, and forbid them to disobey Him, and direct them in accordance with the commands of Allah, and help them to do that.”
- Dahhaak and Muqaatil said: “It is the Muslim’s duty to teach his family, including relatives and female slaves, what Allah has enjoined upon them and what He has forbidden.”
- ‘Ali (ra) said: “Teach them and discipline them.”
- Al-Tabari (ra) said: “We must teach our children and wives the religion and goodness, and whatever they need of good manners. If the Messenger of Allah (saws) used to urge the teaching of female servants, who were slaves, what do you think about your children and wives, who are free?”
- Al-Bukhari (ra) said in his Saheeh: “Chapter: a man’s teaching his female slaves and wife.” Then he quoted the hadith of the Prophet (saws): “There are three who will have two rewards: a man who has a female slave whom he teaches good manners and teaches her well, and teaches her knowledge, and teaches her well, then he frees her and marries her: he will have two rewards.”
- Ibn Hajar (ra) said, commenting on this hadith: “The chapter heading refers specifically to female slaves, and to wives by analogy, i.e., teaching one’s free wife about her duties towards Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger is more clearly essential than teaching one’s female slaves.”
In the midst of all a man’s activities, work and other commitments, he may forget to allow himself time for teaching his wife. One solution to this is to allocate some time for the family, and even for others such as relatives, to hold a study-circle at home. He can let everyone know the time and encourage them to come regularly, so that it will be an ongoing commitment for him and for them. Something similar happened at the time of the Prophet (saws).
Al-Bukhari (ra) said: “Chapter: can the women be given a day exclusively for them to seek knowledge?” and quoted the hadith of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (ra): “The women said to the Prophet (saws): ‘The men always crowd us out and we cannot reach you, so set aside a day for us when we can come to you.’ So he set aside a day when he would meet them and teach them.”
Ibn Hajar said: “A similar report was narrated by Sahl ibn Abi Salih from Abu Hurayrah, according to which [the Prophet (saws)] said: ‘Your appointment is in the house of so and so,’ and he came to them and spoke to them.'” What we learn from this is that women should be taught in their houses, and we see how keen the women of the Sahaabah were to learn.
Directing teaching efforts to men alone, and not to women, is a serious shortcoming on the part of dai’yahs and heads of households. Some readers may ask, suppose we set aside a day, and tell our families about it – what should we study in these gatherings? Where do we begin? I suggest that you begin with a simple program to teach your family in general, and the women in particular.
It is also important to teach women some of the ahkaam of fiqh, such as the rulings on tahaarah (purity) and menstrual and post-partum bleeding, Salat, Zakat, Siyam (fasting) and hajj, if she is able to go; some of the rulings on food and drink, clothing and adornment, the Sunan al-fitnah, rulings on maharam (who is a Mahram relative and who is not), rulings on singing and photography, and so on. Among the important sources of such information are the Fatawas (rulings or edicts) of the scholars, such as the collections of Fatawas by Shaykh ‘Abi al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz and Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih al-‘Uthaymeen, and other scholars, whether they are written Fatawas or Fatawas recorded on tapes.
Another matter that may be included in a syllabus for teaching women and family members is reminding them of lessons or public lectures given by trustworthy scholars and seekers of knowledge which they can attend, so they can have a variety of excellent sources for learning. We should not forget either the radio programs of Idhaa’at al-Qur’an al-Kareem; another means of teaching is reminding family members of the particular days when women can attend Islamic bookstores, and taking them there, within the guidelines of Shari’ah [i.e., proper hijab, etc.]
Start building an Islamic library in your home
Another thing that will help in teaching your family and letting them develop a understanding of their religion and help them adhere to its rules, is having one’s own Islamic library at home. It does not have to be extensive; what matters is choosing good books, putting them in a place where they are readily accessible, and encouraging family members to read them.
You could put books in a clean and tidy corner of the living room, and in a suitable place in a bedroom or guest room; this will make it easy for any member of the family to read constantly.
In order to build a library properly – and Allah loves things to be done properly – you should include references so that family members can research various matters and children can use them for their studies. You should also include books of varying levels, so that old and young, men and women can all use them. You should also have books for giving to guests, children’s friends, and family visitors, but try to get books that are attractively presented, edited properly and with the sources and classification of the ahadith properly given. You can make the most of Islamic bookstores and exhibitions to build a home library, after consulting and seeking advice from those who have experience in the field of books. One way in which you can help family members to find a book when they want it is to organize the books according to subject, with books of Tafseer on one shelf, books of hadith on another, fiqh on a third, and so on. One of the family members could also compile alphabetical or subject indexes of th e library, to make it easier to look for books.
Home audio library
Having a cassette player in every home may be used for good or for evil. How can we use it in a manner that is pleasing to Allah?
One of the ways in which we can achieve this is to have a home audio library containing good Islamic tapes by scholars, fuqaha’, lecturers, khateebs, and preachers.
Listening to tapes of Qur’an recitation by some Imams, for example those recorded during Taraaweeh prayers, will have a great impact on family members, whether by impressing upon them the meanings of the Revelation, or by helping them to memorize Qur’an because of repeated listening. It will also protect them by letting them hear Qur’anic recitation rather than the music and singing of the Shaytan, because it is not right for the words of al-Rahman (Allah) to be mixed with the music of the Shaytan in the heart of the believer.
Tapes of Fatwahs may have a great effect on family members and help them to understand various rulings, which will have an impact on their daily lives.
Muslims must also pay attention to the sources from which they take Fatwahs because this is the matter of religion, so look to where you take your religion from. You should take it from someone who is known to be righteous and pious, who bases his Fatwahs on Qur’an and Sunnah. Ask an expert. “. . . Allah, Most Gracious: ask, then about Him of any acquainted (with such things)” [al-Furqaan 25:59].
Listening to lectures by those who are striving to raise the awareness of the Ummah, establish proof and denounce evil, is very important for establishing individual personalities in the Muslim home.
There are many tapes and lectures, and the Muslim needs to know the features of the sound methodology so as to distinguish sound lecturers from others and look for their tapes, which they can listen to with confidence. Among these features are:
- The lecturer should be a believer in the ‘Aqeedah of the Saved Group, Ahl al-Sunnah wa’l-Jamaa’ah, adhering to the Sunnah and firmly rejecting bid’ah.
- The speaker should be moderate, neither extremist nor lenient.
- He should base his talks on sound ahadeeth.
- He should have insight into people’s situations and the realities of the Ummah, and should offer the appropriate remedy for any problem, giving the people what they need.
- He should speak the truth as much as he can, and not utter falsehood or please the people by angering Allah.
We often find that tapes for children have a great influence on them, whether by helping them to memorize Qur’an by listening to a young reader or du’a’s to be recited at various times of day and night or Islamic manners or nasheeds (religious “songs” with no instrumental accompaniment) with a useful message and so on.
Putting tapes in drawers in an organized fashion will make it easier to find them and will also protect them from getting damaged or from being played with by young children. We should distribute good tapes by giving or lending them to others after listening to them. Having a recorder in the kitchen will be very useful for the lady of the house, and having a recorder in the bedroom will help a person make good use of time until the last moments of the day.
Inviting good and righteous people and seekers of knowledge to visit the home
“My Lord! Forgive me, and my parents, and him who enters my home as a believer, and all the believing men and women. . .” [al-Nooh 71:28].
If people of faith enter your home, it will increase in light (noor), and will bring many benefits because of your conversations and discussion with them. The bearer of musk will either give you some, or you will buy from him, or you will find that he has a pleasant scent. When children, brothers, and parents sit with such visitors, and women listen from behind a curtain or screen to what is said, this offers an educational experience to all. If you bring good people into your home, by doing so you keep bad people from coming in a wreaking havoc.
