Guidance for the Muslim Wife – Complete book
SOME EXEMPLARY INCIDENTS
Sisters, the etiquettes of how to lead a pious life mentioned in the previous pages is not merely hypothetical, but in fact some Muslim women have practised upon these etiquettes and presented an example for us. The world remembers these women till today and they will be remembered till the day of Qiyamat. A few incidents will be narrated to serve as an example.
FATHIMA -AZ-ZAHRA RADHIALLAHU ANHA
Rasulullah’s (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughter was drowned in the fear of Allah. She used to sob bitterly in salaat, yet she did not falter in serving her husband. Today many women boast of their worship while trampling all the rights of the husband. Thereafter they have hope in their worship leading them to salvation. This is erroneous. This incident clearly explains why.
One day Hadhrat Fathima was ill. In this condition she performed ablution and stood up for salaat. Hazrat Ali Radhiallahu Anhu also woke up and went for salaat. When he returned after completing his salaat, he found Fathima Radhiallahu Anha grinding flour with the hand-mill. Hadhrat Ali Radhiallahu Anhu said: “O daughter of Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), rest for a while. Do not let your illness deteriorate.”
Fathima Radhiallahu Anha smiled and said: “Both these duties are not so difficult so as to aggravate any illness. To worship Allah and to serve the husband are the best cures for any sickness. If one of them become the cause of death, what better death can there be?”
Together with the worship of Allah, how much importance did Fathima Radhiallahu Anha attach to serving her husband. Also note that Rasulullah’s (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughter was merrily grinding flour and regarded it as her good fortune.
THE SECOND DAUGHTER OF RASULULLAH SALLALLAHU ALAIHI WASALLAM
Some women lose hope looking at the oppression of their husbands. They should tread the path of piety and have hope in Allah’s mercy that one day this oppression will cease and they will be in comfort. Allah most certainly rewards one for being patient. An incident of this nature is that of one of Rasulullah’s (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughters.
A daughter of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was married to Abu Lahab’s son. When the chapter of Abu Lahab was revealed in the Quran, Abu Lahab became very angry because his destruction was mentioned therein. He instigated his son to divorce Rasulullah’s Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam daughter. He (the son) first went to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and hurled abuse at him and thereafter divorced his daughter. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam and his daughter were greatly perturbed. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam was so disturbed that he cursed Abu Lahab’s son saying : “May Allah destroy him by means of a dog”. When does the cry of an oppressed go in vain? Abu Lahab’s son was destroyed in a most dreadful manner.
There were many people travelling on a journey. At nightfall they camped at a place. Abu Lahab’s son slept on a high boulder in fear of Rasulullah’s Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam curse. At night while he was sleeping, a dog came and sniffed at all those who were sleeping. Then it sniffed at Abu Lahab’s son and tore him to pieces. Rasullulah’s (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) daughter was rescued from this oppression and was then married to Hadhrat Usman Ghani Radhiallahu Anhu.
There is some solace for oppressed women in this incident and a great lesson for oppressive husbands. Oppression and transgression should be refrained from as they are disliked by Allah.
THE DAUGHTER OF SAEED
Hadhrat Saeed bin Musayyab had a beautiful daughter who was a hafizah and aalimah. The caliph of that time desired her for his son, but Saeed refused because the prince was not pious. In his (Saeed’s) sight wealth had no reality. Upon this refusal, Saeed was severely punished by the caliph but he did not accept the proposal.
Saeed had a student who was extremely poor. He used to come regularly to Saeed’s gathering. Once he remained absent for a few days after which he came. Saeed asked him the reason for his absence. He said that his wife had passed away and had to remain absent as a result. Saeed consoled him. When he began to depart Saeed asked him if he desired another wife. The student said: “Hadhrat, who will give their daughter to a pauper like me.” He uttered these words with extreme remorse. Saeed consoled him and promised to get him married immediately. He (Saeed) brought his daughter and the nikah was performed. In the evening he took his daughter to the student’s house where they could meet.
It is significant to note that the girl was so pious that after rejecting the king’s proposal she did not object to marrying a poor person. She was happy and served her husband peerlessly. If the parents of today can demonstrate simplicity and piety like Saeed, these innocent girls will find good homes. The reason for them not getting married is because they cannot find a wealthy home. In this way many a girl is wasting her valuable youth.
THE DAUGHTER OF SHUJA KIRMANI
Hazrat Shuja Kirmani was a great saint of his time and was related to the royal family. The king of Kirman requested Hazrat Shuja to marry his daughter to the prince. Upon his request Shuja asked for 3 days respite during which he remained in the mosque. On the final day he saw a mendicant performing salaat. When he completed his namaaz, Shuja requested him to marry his daughter. The saintly mendicant replied that he was a pauper and that he could not get married. He only had 3 dirhams (silver coins). Notwithstanding this meagre amount, Shuja accepted him as his son-in-law. What happened thereafter is worth noting.
When the girl went to her husband she saw a piece of dry bread lying in a bowl. She asked him about it. The husband replied that it was yesterday’s left over bread which he had kept for tonight. The bride was shocked to hear this and asked permission to return to her father’s house. The husband said that he knew a girl from the royal family could not live with him. However the bride replied that she was not returning because of his poverty, but due to the weakness of his Iman (faith) because he kept yesterday’s bread for today. She said: “I am totally surprised at my father who, for twenty years did not get me married because he was in search of a pious and religious person and when he did get me married, then it was to someone like you who does not have trust in Allah as the Provider and makes arrangements for tomorrow from today”.
The mendicant was surprised to hear this, and asked: “How can this error be forgiven”. The bride said : “Either keep the piece of bread or keep me”. The mendicant immediately gave the bread away as charity.
THE INCIDENT OF A WOMAN
In conclusion, an incident relating the consequences of an evil woman will be narrated. When girls get together they normally gossip, backbite, carry tales, express jealousy and sometimes even slander. They make mountains out of a mole-hill and begin doubting the slightest movements of their husbands and sometimes even accuse them. This is highly dangerous. Allah greatly dislikes the innocent being accused.
There was a woman in the time of Imam Malik (Rahmatullah Alaih) who used to give ghusl (bath) to deceased women. She bathed the body of a woman and while washing her private parts she thought to herself that this private part has committed adultery i.e. she accused her. Allah was greatly displeased. For others to learn a lesson, the woman’s hand immediately adhered to the private part of the deceased woman. After great attempts it was still not freed. People tried all methods but eventually gave up hope and went to Imam Malik (Rahmatullahi Alaihi) who was the most learned person of that time. They narrated the incident to him. He said that the woman who was giving a bath must be lashed because she has slandered the deceased. Consequently when this was done, her hand was released. All men and women shuddered upon hearing this.
Sisters, do not think that accusing someone is different from accusing your husband jokingly. Nonetheless a false accusation is a major sin and the punishment for it is severe. Due to this doubt and accusation, mistrust is created. A minor incident can have such severe repercussions that many a marriage can be destroyed. If there is any doubt, great wisdom and tact must be used to rectify the situation.
May Allah make all women lead their lives according to His will. (Ameen)