Guidance for the Muslim Wife – Complete book
CARING FOR THE CHILDREN
1. Wash the child’s hands, face, neck, ears, and groin properly with a wet cloth each day . When dirt collects, the flesh becomes putrefied and sores develop as a result.
2. When the child urinates or passes stool, cleanse him immediately. Do not merely wipe with a cloth as this results in a rash and a swelling on the body. During cold weather use warm water.
3. Make him sleep separately and join the sides of the bed or place two pillows on the either side so that he does not fall. If you let him sleep next to you, there is the fear of him getting crushed under you unknowingly. His limbs are very tender and great precaution must be taken.
4. Do not let him form a habit of playing on the swing as swings are not availabe everyhere. Also do not keep him in the lap for too long as this makes him weak.
5. Form the childs habit of going to everyone. By going to one person only, the child will be unduly grieved if that person passes away.
6. If you want a wet-nurse to breastfeed your child, choose one whose milk is good and who is young, with a good character. She must be religious; not foolish, shameless, ill-mannered, miserly and greedy.
7. When the child begins to eat, do not let the wet-nurse feed him. Feed him yourself or let a responsible person feed him so that he does not overeat and become sick. When administering medicine, have it prepared and given in your presence.
8. When he begins to understand a little, let him form a habit of eating with his own hand. Teach him to eat with the right hand and to eat less so that he be free of illnesses and greed.
9. The parents or guardian should take care that the child is always clean. If the hands and face get dirty, they should be washed immediately.
10. If possible, there should be someone to keep an eye on the child while he is playing and protect him from injury and evil company.
11. The servant should be emphatically told not to feed him in any place. If someone gives him something to eat, he should bring it home and show it to the parents.
12. The child should be taught not to ask anyone for anything besides the buzrugs (saints) nor take anything from anyone or take anything without permission.
13. Do not show too much affection for the child thereby spoiling him.
14. Do not make him wear very tight clothing.
15. Inculcate in him the habit of using miswaak regularly.
16. The first part of this book contains etiquettes for eating, drinking, speaking, meeting people, sitting and awakening. Teach the child these etiquettes. Do not feel that he will learn them himself when he grows up or you will teach him at that time. Remember that no one can learn himself and by reading he will become aware of it but a habit will not be formed. As long as he does not have these habits, no matter how educated he may be, he will always be ill-mannered and shameless.
17. Do not pressurize the child to learn. Initially appoint one hour for his learning, then two, three and so on. Make him strive according to his capacity. Do not teach the whole day as this causes excessive fatigue. If there is too much strain, his heart and mind will deteriorate, his memory will weaken and he will become lazy like a sick person. He will ultimately lose interest in studying.
18. Besides a few minor vacations he should not be given too many holidays without necessity as this will bore him.
19. Engage the service of the most perfect and knowledgeable person available in the field he has chosen. Employing cheap teachers will have detrimental results.
20. Arrange the learning program in such a way that the easy lessons are taught in the afternoon and the difficult ones in the morning because a person becomes tired later in the day and fears difficult lessons.
21. Children, especially girls should be taught cooking and sewing.
22. Teach the boys not to make istinja (purifying oneself after answering the call of nature) in front of others, especially females.